Five years ago I had a full-time corporate position for one of the top 5 financial institutions.
From the outside looking in, my life was perfect: a loving family, an executive career, a comfortable lifestyle. However, the years spent ambitiously chasing the life I thought I needed, where my self-worth was only defined by my achievements and social status, I realized I was left with high-functioning anxiety, depression, people pleasing and perfectionism.
I was overwhelmed daily by stress and anxiety which depressed me.
My life was a complete facade and I hid the pain and hurt I felt on the inside because I was ashamed and terrified of being judged by others; what would they think of me if they knew I wasn’t perfect and I was struggling.
So everyday I would wake up, put on my fake smile, laugh and be jovial with everyone I encountered during my day…taking frequent bathroom breaks (average 5 per day) for panic attacks and uncontrollable crying while secretly being medicated under a doctors’ care for anxiety and depression.
I had lived this way for so long,
I thought “I am always going to be this way, this is just my life”. High-functioning anxiety felt like a life sentence of self-imprisonment to my own fears and limiting beliefs.
So when I could no longer keep up with the demands of maintaining this impossible standard of living; when everything in my life suddenly became too much, I crumbled.
When I crumbled I felt hopeless, worthless, and nothing in my life made sense. It was in that time of complete self-disassociation and despair that my loving partner shared his perspective that I am worth living for and I am worth it!
It was then that I decided to look outside of how I was thinking and feeling about myself (that I was worthless) and believe in my partners’ view of me, because I trust him. This blind sense of worthiness gave me the spark I needed to start my healing journey and ignited my soul to find my joy and live it!
Today I barely recognize the person I was 5 years ago.
Today I have a very happy fulfilled life because in my healing I have learned to live authentically, soulfully, and in my joy!
If my story resonates with you, I’m here to tell you:
I see you
I was you 5 years ago
I know what it’s like
I would be honored to help you
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